My Dream

I found myself in a hospital bed with a broken nose and multiple bruises all over my body. Not knowing how I got here the last things I remember was getting up in the morning and fixing breakfast. I remember going to the stove to cook a couple of eggs but I thought that would be lazy so I built a small fire on my patio and cooked them there. Richard would be proud of me. No one will call me lazy. I then went to the refrigerator to get some orange juice but I thought this would be lazy so I squeezed a couple of oranges and made a nice fresh glass of juice. No one is going to call me lazy. I decided to go to the Slots A Fun to win some of those new $200 strikes. I got in my car and I thought "No, driving would be lazy, I will walk the 5 miles to the Slots A Fun". It was only 105 degrees out and the walk would do me good. I am sure Richard would be proud of me. No one was going to call me lazy. One hour later I arrived at the Slots A Fun and sat down to win some strikes. But I thought sitting would be lazy. I could hear Richard now "LAZY, LAZY, LAZY" So I decided to stand up and play the machine. No one was going to call me lazy. I won 200 strikes in eight hours when my aching back forced me to quit. I carried four racks of the strikes to the cage to exchange them for 10 $200 strikes. The cashier said "I am sorry Sir but we are out of the $200's and will have more tomorrow." I thought " I must be dreaming." I then decided to call a taxi but then that would be lazy so I went to the gift shop and bought a backpack. I figured if I could straighten up, the weight of the strikes would help keep me standing upright. I then began my walk home. No one is going to call me lazy. I arrived home three and one half hours later completely exhausted and immediately plopped down on the couch. I then picked up the remote to flip through the channels but I could hear this voice "LAZY ,LAZY, LAZY." "No!" I thought. "Even Richard uses the remote. Everyone in the world uses a remote. Isn't that the first gift you give a newborn baby?". The thought of going to the TV and manually flipping through 100 channels. No way, I will email Richard and ask his permission to use the remote. No , not an email, that would be lazy, I will get a pencil and paper and write him a letter. The thought of not using a remote , my dream was turning into a nightmare. I began sweating profusely. What would I do? I could hear myself, "Lazy, Lazy, Lazy. Ooohhh." My body began trembling. All of a sudden I felt this pounding on my body. Fists were flying everywhere. It was my Filipina wife shouting and screaming, "Daisy, Daisy, Daisy. You #!@&!!. Who is Daisy?"

That is all I remember.