Subject: Seasons Greetings

>I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting, but it is so difficult
> in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone.
> So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on his advice I wish to say the
> following:
>
>
> Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
> for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non
> addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer/winter* solstice
> holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious
> persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the
> religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their
> choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
>
>
>
> * (Please select the one suited to your geographical location on the
> planet.)
>
>
> I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and
> medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
> accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the
> calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society
> have helped make our country great (not to imply that this country is
> necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the
> race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual
> preference of the wishee.
>
>
>
> By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
>
>
> This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
> transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
> promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
> her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is
> revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted
> to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for
> a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday
> greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement
> of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the
> wisher.
>
>
>
> Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message;
> however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.
>
>
>
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