(A Father's Day Classic)

Ten Things You'll Never Hear A Dad Say

10. "Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop
and ask for directions."

9. "You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for
unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?"

8. "I noticed that all your friends have a certain 'up yours'
attitude ... I like that."

7. "Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY!"

6. "What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good
enough for you, son?"

5. "Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you might
want to consider throwing a party."

4. "Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of
those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or
something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks."

3. "No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an
earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall!"

2. "Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for
you to spend."

And the NUMBER ONE thing you'll never hear a dad say...

1. "Father's Day? aahh -- don't worry about that -- it's no big
deal."